Crossing the line... »
PHILIP STORRY - OCT 24, 2008 (12:17:07 PM)
In the Notes/Domino world, there are some well-known "bad words" that you don't mention in polite company.
We have a contractor leaving soon, and he's a lovely guy. But we were joking about how he'd be remembered, and I said this:
"We plan to blame you for everything once you're gone. In fact, I think you'd be surprised at how senior - and busy - you were in your time with the company."
When reporting that to some friends, some seemed to think I was unnecessarily cutting when I said that.
(I can be quite cutting sometimes, bordering on rude, but usually only when in search of a cheap laugh. Which I curiously - and in some company solely - think justifies it.)
Now, the folks who were there when it was said took no issue with it. It was a sting, yes - but a well intentioned one.
But later, I really skirted with offending those same people.
How?
Like this:
"You'll always be remembered here. Specifically, we'll remember you as the guy that installed GroupShield on our servers...
Even the lighter-hearted didn't know quite whether to laugh at that one or not... There was a palpable silence over the group for a moment.
It's funny, how offence is determined by social context. I crossed a line, but not the one that most people would assume...
Comments: 6
COMMENT: DAVID VASTA
OCT 24, 2008 - 01:44:00 PM
I myself have the same ability to, be funny and yet honest all at the same time. I don't see your comments as cross at all. People are to sensitive these days and no one seems to be able to take a joke.
Most of the time the people who complain are the first to dish it out as well. To all of this I say keep on being funny, I like your brand of funny. «
COMMENT: CRAIG WISEMAN
OCT 24, 2008 - 01:56:47 PM
As an "evil Consultant", I use a similar line often, something like:
"One of my jobs is to be chief scapegoat - everything good that comes out of this you did, and everything bad I did. One of the key qualifications of a scapegoat is that they cannot be present to defend themselves."
It always gets a laugh, but it also reminds us of a recurring theme in consulting: Even excellent consultants are frequently blamed for things the didn't do, or for choices made in conjunction and with the approval of the onsite staff.
So the thought sounds much more 'off' coming from someone on the onsite staff side, because you'd be shocked at how often what you joked about comes true. «
COMMENT: PETER SMITH
OCT 24, 2008 - 04:30:52 PM
I thought this was a standard IT practice, it's what we did when you left your old job
«
COMMENT: PHILIP STORRY
NOV 28, 2008 - 12:43:24
Nobody was truly offended "in the flesh", but when written down and reported some people got offended on their behalf.
Don't even start me on how dumb that is!
«
COMMENT: PHILIP STORRY
NOV 28, 2008 - 12:46:35
Luckily, the fellow leaving is a contractor as in a regular employee, rather than a consultant, so there's less inclination to actually blame him anyway.
I'd never thought of that aspect of consultancy though - thanks for the insight! «
COMMENT: PHILIP STORRY
NOV 28, 2008 - 12:52:14
That doesn't surprise me one bit. In fact, I'd expected it!
Forget the fact that I got the infrastructure stable, that I increased its capacity with minimal disruption, that I lowered its cost of ownership, or any of that... I left, so I can be blamed!
I'd actually have liked to have stayed and finished the transition to the new architecture, but the merger made it pointless really. Ho hum... «